It's been forever since I've had inspiration to actively do something out of the routine. After starting out the lockdown with the motivation that I did, I realised I let it wear out. I faltered in the routine I set for myself because there were no consequences that came in the absence of it.
I knew something was going wrong but not enough to change it, and then a proper schedule just chipped away little by little without raising any alarm. Of course the daily tasks stayed, which gave me the impression that it was all under control still. Turns out, not quite. I used to write monthly newsletters which stopped rolling in a few months ago. I remember writing in the last one that I'm running out of inspiration but I'm sure I'll have my own personal renaissance soon enough.
So I was sitting in my living room one day and I noticed really nice looking clouds in the distance. I stepped out and I thought "Huh, not bad". I clicked a few pictures and I was ready to head back in when I realised there are these really pretty clouds heading in my direction.
Of course it was all beautiful, but it was that second formation there that reminded me of the painting "Creation of Adam". A very famous Renaissance painting from all the way back in 1512. That right there reminded me of the renaissance I was hoping for, and very on the nose might I add.
The time I spent doing nothing only felt like a few weeks of wavered focus and a tiny slump, but in reality about three months had gone by and I hadn't noticed. It was that day that I realised how long it had been since I felt motivated for something like I felt for clicking pictures in that moment.
The 'soon enough' took its own sweet time to settle in my mind. On a level I had gotten used to not feeling anything different for days, but now that I had my Renaissance, I realise what was missing from my day. So I'm excited yet again, because I have no idea what I will do or how long this will stay, but all I can do for the moment is enjoy it.